Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
