Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
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