I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
