we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
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