You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
you inspire me to be a worse person
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
