direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
