if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
