please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
