I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
