Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
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