We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Randomize
