I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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