Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
