SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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