he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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