watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
