Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
