We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
