my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Randomize
