and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
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He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
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I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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