I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
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