I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
