Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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