How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
