we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
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