walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
