I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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