dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
