In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
We need to get me chipped asap
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
