I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
