Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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