Having a random hookup so left but love u
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Randomize
