You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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