I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
