i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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