Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
