This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
