Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
