It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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