So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
