A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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