It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
