Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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