are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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