nutella sex= disaster
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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