You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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