How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
