What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Randomize
