YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize
