So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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