...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
