to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Randomize
