how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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