You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
