so that wasnt chicken after all
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She told me I should be a condom model.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Randomize
