just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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