They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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