it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
We got so high we made milksteak
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize