My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
This toilet bowl is my home.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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